There is a direct link between fathers being involved in their children's lives and whether or not the father is married. Consider these statistics: (taken from Father Facts 4, The National Fatherhood Initiative, pgs 26-28)
•In an analysis of data from both waves of the National Survey of Families and Households, a national (US) probability sample of over 13,000 households, it was found that the most important determinant of whether a father lived with his children was marital status at the time of the child's birth. Fully 80% of men who were married to the child's mother at the child's birth were living with all of their biological children, compared to only 22% of men who were not in a co-residential union relationship with the child's mother at the time of the child's birth.
•Marital status is the strongest predictor of father presence/father absence. Compared to children born within marriage, children born to cohabitating parents are three times more likely to experience father absence, and children born to unmarried, non-cohabitating parents are four times as likely to have an absent father.
•27% of children older than 4 years saw their non-resident fathers at least once a week, and 31% had no contact al all during the past year.
•31.8% of children from divorced families saw their father once a year or not at all. For children whose parents had never married, 49.5% had seen their fathers only once or not at all in the past year.
•In a study of 400 young adolescents from single-parent and married-parent families, children in single-parent families reported feeling significantly less close to their fathers than did youth in married-parent families.
•In a one year time span, 35.2% of children never saw their non-residential fathers, whereas 19.0% of children never saw their non-residential mothers. Even for non-residential fathers who maintain regular contact, the pattern of father-child relationships changes. Father behave more like relatives than like parents. Instead of helping with homework or carrying out a project with their children, non-resident fathers are likely to take the kids shopping, to the movies, or out to dinner. Instead of providing steady advice and guidance, divorced fathers become "treat" dads.
•Recent studies have concluded that contact between the father and his child begins to diminish soon after divorce.
•More than one-half of all children who don't live with their father have never been in their father's home.
So, I don't know about you, but to me this says that we dads need to be aware of how our marital status will affect our children. The evidence is clear about how an involved dad benefits his children. And whether we are married or not, we have to step up to the challenge for the sake of our kids and make sure that we do more than just baby-sit, treat our kids, or let them "sleep over" once a month. We must get involved in homework, giving direction, knowing their friends, and playing with them.
For a unique perspective on fathers and marriage, please see the following article:
Fatherhood and marriage - a vital connection
Any thoughts? Email Brian.
